It's not good-bye
by Lovetoread75
Summary: Ponyboy is heartbroken after Johnny's death. He can't go on, and stops doing things he once enjoyed. His brothers can't get through to him, and can't convince him to start living again. One day, though everything changes. Things get interesting and even fun. Enjoy and please review, favorite or follow :) I will try to update once a week.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi everybody. So I am back with a new story. Enjoy and please leave a review._

Disclaimer: I don't own the outsiders

I walked in and went to my room. I turned the radio on. I had a headache, but I had a headache almost all the time these days. Probably from thinking so much. I was thinking about Johnny and Dallas, but mostly Johnny. So the headache was from that and from arguing with Darry so much. He said I should go on living my life, but how could I do that? It's like pretending that nothing happened. Maybe he could do that, but I couldn't. I also lost my appetite. I just wasn't hungry, and had to put on a show for Soda and Darry pretending like I was eating. I haven't been sleeping well either since the whole mess happened. I could hardly fall asleep, but when I did, I had nightmares. Usually I was dreaming about the fire. I was also disoriented and forgetful during the day, and I was flunking a lot of my classes.

In addition, I stopped doing the things I used to enjoy. I was not in the mood for reading or going to the movies or painting. I even stopped watching the sunset. All it reminded me of was that time in Windrixville, when Johnny and me watched the sunrise.

I turned the radio off after a while. It was getting on my nerves. All happy songs about life and love, and here I was, so unhappy. I thought I could never be happy again. I took the framed picture of the gang from my desk. I looked at it really carefully. I looked at Johnny.

I remembered the fire. I remembered that when the roof started to collapse, Johnny was closer to the window than I was, and he could get out unharmed. But he waited for me, and pushed me out of the window first. If he hadn't done that, if he hadn't waited for me, he'd be alive now. He'd be able to walk and everything. It was me, who was supposed to get hurt, and maybe even die, not him. "Why, Johnny? Why?" I spoke, looking at the photograph, then I put it back on my desk.

I was sitting in my bed restless. It's the worst feeling when you are just restless, you can't do anything, you can't fall asleep either. I took a bunch of aspirins earlier, but they weren't helping.

I attempted doing my homework, but was completely unable to concentrate. I was now failing most of my classes. Darry was furious, and he didn't even know half of them. He just knew about math and social studies. What's the point of it anyway? So that I could go to college? And what's the point of that? So that I could turn into some supersoc? I didn't want that. And besides, what's the point of anything, when people closest to you, who are most important to you are no longer around. I was thinking about all of that, sitting in my bed, my door locked.

At around seven I heard Darry and Soda get in. I heard them take their boots off, and then I heard heavy footsteps approaching my room. They knocked, and I unlocked the door.

"Hi Pony, how are you?" Soda asked.

"I'm fine," I said in a tone of voice that indicated that I'd rather be alone. They shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, and left the room.

In about ten minutes Darry was back. I knew it was him, because his footsteps are so heavy. Soda's are light. So Darry knocked, and I opened the door.

"Pony, I need to talk to you."

Not again, I thought.

"I feel like I'm repeating myself, but you need to cut it out."

"Cut what out?"

"Not living anymore. It's like you stopped living. I checked the fridge, you haven't eaten anything since you got home. Your lunch at school it's at twelve, and you haven't eaten anything since. In fact, I bet you didn't eat anything at lunch either."

"I can't help it if I am not hungry."

"Then you have to force yourself to eat a little. You are losing weight and strength. Also look at the filth that is your room. You haven't cleaned it in here in forever."

I looked at the room. My desk was covered in a thick layer of dust, my clothes were scattered around the room. Jeans on my bed , some t-shirts on the chairs and on the floor, my converses in the middle of the room , where I took them off. Books everywhere – on the desk, on the bed and in the armchair. Everything conveyed the fact that I completely lost interest in living.

"How long is this going to last? You lock yourself in your room all the time. That's the easiest and weakest thing to do. You have to be strong, and keep going, in spite of, your grief." Darry said, frustration in his vice. "Soda and I, we rely on you helping out to clean in the living room and the kitchen sometimes, to do the dishes. Nothing too hard, you are capable of doing that. But how can I ask for that if you are not even cleaning your own room? What you are doing is selfish. If you don't' want to live – fine, but you slacking off affects us as well. How do you think we feel when after a hard day at work we get back to a messy house?"

"Urgh," I was frustrated, "you just don't dig," I said.

"I don't dig that it's hard to lose your friends and keep going? I get that."

"No you don't," I yelled, "and he wasn't just a friend, he was my **best** friend."

"I do understand that, but think what would happen if I dropped everything like you did. If I stopped going to work, stopped cleaning, cooking. What would happen then? You wouldn't have a roof over your head that's what. I don't have the luxury of stopping. I have to be strong and keep going, and so do you. And your slacking off at school is just plain stupid. You've worked so hard to keep your grades up. Do you want to just throw that away? Do you want to throw an opportunity to go to college away? I didn't go so you could. Ah, forget it," he sighed, and started walking away. I felt somewhat bad for him, but not really. What's his obsession with cleaning? Nobody will die if it's not clean all the time, but I felt like dying, because my best friend died.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, here is chapter 2. Once a week just like I promised =). Thank you to all who is reading, reviewing, favoriting and following. Enjoy and leave me a review=)**

The next day I followed my daily routine. I got home, got a pepsi, didn't eat, took 5 aspirins for my headache, and went to my rom. On the way to my room, I saw a pile of dishes in the sink. It was my turn to do the dishes, but I just couldn't bring myself to doing that. Instead, I went to my room and locked the door. I felt exhausted both physically and mentally. I was in bed, trying to fall asleep, and hoping I won't have a nightmare.

Gradually, I drifted off to sleep. I saw the weirdest dream ever. I dreamt that I was sitting in my bed, when Johnny appeared in front of me. He was able to walk, and he was wearing a long, silk white robe.

"Hi Ponyboy," he greeted.

"Hi," I replied.

"I'm sorry," he said then, sadness in his voice.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"For leaving you. I really am sorry, but I had to go."

"It's all right," I said, "I understand."

"I don't want you to worry," he continued, "I'm ok here, I'm safe and happy. I want you to start living again, and in return I'll watch over you. You'll see," Johnny said with a mischievous grin, "things are going to get interesting and fun, but promise me you are going to start living again. Dally is here too. We'll watch over you."

"Ok," I nodded in agreement.

"I have to go now," Johnny said.

"But I don't want to say good-bye," I mumbled, feeling tears rolling down my cheeks.

"It's not good-bye," Johnny said, and he looked a little sad, "it's not good-bye," he repeated, "I promise."

I was going to say something, but then I woke up. I gasped for air, looked at the picture of the gang and started crying. I wished so desperately that this dream was true. I cried sitting in my bed God knows for how long until I was all cried out. Then I was just sitting in my bed, sipping my pepsi.

Finally, I heard the door open, and Darry get in. Shit, the dishes, I thought, and hoped to God he was not going to give me another lecture. I wouldn't be able to take it just then.

"Hey Pony," he yelled from the kitchen, and every muscle of my body tensed up.

"Thanks for doing the dishes. I knew you'd come around after we talked yesterday, thanks buddy, I really appreciate it."

"But …," I started, getting out of my room, and going into the kitchen, where I saw the clean dishes stacked neatly on the counter. I looked at the dishes confused. Did I do them before I went to sleep and forgot about it? That must be it, and yet I remembered passing by the dirty dishes on the way to my room. I must be losing it completely, I thought, if I am unable to remember if I did something or not.

Darry in the meantime was looking at me with a happy grin. "Way to go little buddy," he said. "I'm going to start dinner. Come back to eat in about half an hour."

"Ok," I said still confused, and went back to my room. I stared at the photo again. I wished so much that my dream was true.

By dinner Soda got home too, and Darry told him proudly that I did the dishes. I had to eat something for Darry's and Soda's sake, but I was still thinking about my dream during dinner.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok, here is the next chappie. Enjoy and leave me a review. Thanks to everyone who favorited/followed and reviewed. It really means a lot.**

Next morning I dragged myself to school as usual. First class was English. I walked in, and proceeded to my seat. I used to like English. It used to be my favorite subject, before I started to slack off. The class was full of socs though, and I hated that.

Rob Nelson's seat was right in front of mine. He was one of the most vicious socs in school. He wasn't in class yet.

The teacher walked in, and started the class. Several minutes later Nelson walked in, and proceeded to his seat right in front of me. He started to sit down, and I swear I saw his chair move. As the chair moved, he landed on his ass on the floor with a loud thud. Everybody burst in laughter, and he turned beet red, and cursed loudly.

"Watch your mouth Mr. Nelson," the teacher warned him, "one more word and you'll earn your visit to the principal's office."

Nobody except for me saw the chair move. They thought that Nelson just missed when sitting down. I could've sworn I saw the chair move though. That's it, I thought, the severe sleep and food deprivation is taking its toll on me – I'm seeing things now.

The rest of the day was uneventful. After classes I had track practice. I wasn't doing that great lately. I lost weight and strength. I started running, but suddenly felt like some invisible force was pushing me forward. I felt like I was being carried. This was beyond me just seeing things from lack of sleep and food. This was real. I could feel the force pushing and carrying me. I finished in record time, and the coach complemented me. To say that I was shocked is an understatement. I was completely in awe, in disbelief and astonishment. Could it be…? I didn't dare to even think that, could it be Johnny?

I ran home almost as fast as I ran track. I got inside, went to my room, locked the door and collapsed onto my bed. I grabbed the picture of the gang from the desk. Could it really be…? I couldn't believe it, could it really be Johnny? I felt like I was going crazy, but I felt it, I felt the force pushing me and almost carrying me during track practice.

I had a huge headache. I took five aspirins as usual and crashed on my bed. Before I knew it, I dozed off again. Sure enough I saw the dream again –I was sitting in my bed, and Johnny was standing in front of me.

"Hi man," he said, mischievous smile playing on his lips.

"Hi Johnny," I said.

"How did you like your track practice today?" he asked with a sly smirk.

"Was that really you helping me out?" I asked.

"You bet it was."

"But how?" I started to say, but then I woke up.

I was about to start crying again, but something else caught my attention. The mess in my room was gone. All the clothes that were scattered around the room were put away, and the books that used to be all over the place were stacked neatly on my desk. The floor looked like it's been swept.

I knew that nobody had been in the room while I was sleeping. I would've heard them and woken up, especially if they were sweeping and moving things around. So it had to be Johnny. I set up on the bed and looked at the photo. I was beyond shocked, I was completely stunned. Tears of joy were streaming down my face. I still couldn't believe it, part of me still thought that I finally lost it, that I've gone crazy.

I heard muffled voices in the kitchen. Darry and Soda were talking, and they were talking in low voices, but I could still hear them. They were talking about me.

"So, he's sleeping," Soda said.

"Well, he must be tired after all the work he'd done," Darry replied.

What work, I thought, what were they talking about?

I got into the living room, and saw what they were talking about right away. The room and the kitchen had been cleaned up spotless. All the things that were scattered around the room were put away, newspapers and magazines stacked neatly on the coffee table, floor in the kitchen and the living room swept.

Darry was standing his back towards the door, but he turned around when he heard my footsteps.

"Hi Pony," he said softly, which was almost never heard from him. Usually he spoke in a rough voice, often raising his voice.

Well, this is new I thought.

"Thanks for this." Darry motioned with his hand at the kitchen and the living room. "You know," he continued, "I don't really like yelling at you. It's just because it's hard sometimes to get through to you. It's like you don't listen unless I yell. And half the time you still don't listen even if I yell. But this time you listened. You know, with Soda and me working all the time, we need all the help we can get. I'm really glad you are not slacking off anymore. I'm really proud of you."

That was quite a speech, I thought, but all I could think at the moment was Johnny. Johnny didn't like me and Darry fight all the time, so he cleaned up. What else was he going to do, I thought?

"Pony, is something wrong?" I heard Soda's voice interrupting my thoughts. I realized that I was standing in the middle of the room staring into space. "Oh, no nothing is wrong," I hurried to assure Soda, "I'm just still a little sleepy."

"How about you go wash up, and after dinner we'll play some football?"

"Sure thing," I mumbled going into the bathroom, still in shock.

After dinner Two-Bit and Steve showed up, and we played football just as Soda promised.

The next day before gym things got really interesting. I got into the locker- room, and started changing as usual. All of the sudden I heard a loud "What a hell?"

I turned around to see this soc Doug Johnson holding his gym uniform t-shirt, and I saw blood splattered all over it. Then I saw other socs take out their uniforms, and they also had blood splattered all over the t-shirts.

"Who's playing games here?"one of the most vicious socs asked. He was the soc that never passed by any of the greasers without yelling "greaser" at them, and then cursing them out.

I turned away quickly to make sure they didn't see me smile. Way to go Johnny, I thought.

Then the socs formed a circle, and started whispering to each other.

"It's greasers," I heard one of them say.

"But how did they know our lock combinations?" the other one whispered.

I finished changing, and left the locker- room, smiling to myself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everybody. Here is the next chappie =) Please read and review. Thanks to everyone who is reading, favoriting/following. It keeps me motivated to wriete more. Anyway here we go. Enjoy =)**

The next day things started to get even more interesting. I went into the bathroom during the break, and to my surprise I saw a crowd there. People were standing in a semi-circle, looking at something and whispering. What's going on, I wondered. I pushed myself through the crowd, so I could see what they were looking at. It was the same soc Doug Johnson. He was hitting his head against the wall repeatedly with loud thuds as his head connected to the wall. He was cursing loudly and yelling "stop it, whoever is doing this stop it now." He was waving his hands in the air, as if attacking some invisible force.

People in the crowd where whispering – "he's crazy, his off his rocker." I couldn't help it, but chuckle. Things sure started to get fun. Just like Johnny had promised.

I was walking back to my class, and people in the hallways were still talking about it. I overheard them say things like "I didn't know he's lost it. I feel bad for his girlfriend. Poor thing, it must be hard on her."

Next class was math. The teacher was asking for last night's homework, and called on this super soc Brandon Lawrence. He went to the board, his notebook in hand. He opened it, preparing to write the answers on the board, then he looked extremely confused, and started flipping the pages of his notebook frantically.

"It was right here, I swear. I did my homework," he kept repeating.

"Well, that's something new," the teacher said. "I haven't heard this excuse before. Thank you for entertaining us. At least you didn't' say your dog ate your notebook. You may take a seat. I'll be watching you closely. I want you to know that."

I realized that this was Johnny's doing as well. I was starting to enjoy it. I found myself smiling a lot these days, while I haven't smiled in forever after Johnny and Dally died. Even though Johnny wasn't here, I still felt his presence, and that meant the world to me.

During my lunch break, I stepped outside for a smoke. Our school building was being repainted from the outside. There were buckets of paint everywhere. I had to be careful while walking, so I wouldn't accidently knock a bucket of paint over. I noticed three socs get out of the school building, and then line up under the roof by the right wing of the building. They were out for a smoke too. I really hoped they weren't going to start anything. I was not in the mood for it now.

So they were standing by the right wing of the building smoking, and I was by the left wing. I was watching them to make sure I had enough time to run if they were going to approach me. All of the sudden, though I saw buckets of paint being thrown on them from the roof. They were clearly taken aback by that. They were covered in paint head to toe. They cursed loudly, and waved their fists at the roof. They were furious, but they looked so pathetic. They tried to take the paint off their faces, but they only messed it up even more. I was cracking up by then.

I was in such a good mood that I thought I'd cook dinner, when I get home. But when I got home, dinner was already cooked and chocolate cake made. It was mashed potatoes and backed chicken – Darry's favorite.

Soon enough Soda got home. He looked at the food, then went right for chocolate cake. He took a bite. "Good," he approved, "just not enough sugar in the icing." Leave it to Soda, and he'll put gazillion teaspoons of sugar in the icing.

Soon after that Darry got home as well. He was visibly pleased when he saw dinner cooked already.

"Which one of you cooked?" he asked.

"It was all Pony," Soda replied, starting to set the table.

"Thank you for this," Darry said. "I'm really glad you are getting back to normal. I was starting to think you wouldn't." Thank Johnny not me, I thought, but obviously I didn't say anything, just grinned from ear to ear.

Later that night I took the photo of the gang from my desk. "Thank you Johnny," I whispered, "for everything."


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok here is chapter 5. it's kind of short. The next one will be longer. Thanks to everyone who favorited/followed and thanks to my reviewer Sadie Dixon. It really means a lot. **

**Anyway, here we go enjoy.**

The next day after school I was standing outside the building smoking, when three socs got out of the building. They were really big, and they were walking up to me. I didn't have time to run, they were too close.

"Well, well what do we have here?" one of them said, "isn't it the greaser whose friend killed Bob?" They were surrounding me, and one pushed me forward right into the other soc, and he pushed me back. The other soc was going to punch me in the stomach, but all of the sudden he doubled over in pain. His eyes got round, he looked like he was hit repeatedly in the stomach by some invisible force. Johnny of course, I thought. The soc cursed loudly, and started waving his hands in the air. He looked scared senseless. At the same time the second soc fell to the ground. He paled and looked terrified. The third one was pinned to the wall. He was also waving his hands in the air and cursing loudly. This was going on for only about five minutes, but five minutes is enough time to hurt somebody badly. Five minutes of punching in the stomach and the person gets really hurt. Finally, the socs were able to get free. They glanced at me crazily and ran towards their car without saying another word.

This wasn't the end of it, however. As they got into their car, and started driving, the car exploded, and the socs literally flew out through the windshield. I frowned. Had Johnnycake gone a little too far this time? But then I thought, no he just wanted to scare them so they leave me alone. They were going to beat me up badly. They didn't care if _they_ went too far, and besides, Johnny made sure the all three of them were unharmed, just scared. That'll teach them a lesson, I thought, and it'll make them leave me alone.

The next day we were supposed to get our chemistry tests back. There were ten socs in my chemistry class. The rest were middle class. The teacher set the stack of papers, which were the tests on her desk.

"Before giving you your tests back," she said, "I must say that there are some people in this class who are trying to make a joke of it. They left their test papers blank. I am not amused, and I will not tolerate such behavior. For example you, Mr. Simpson, why did you leave your test paper blank?" She held his test paper up so the whole class could see that it was blank. Simpson was one of the socs that tried attacking me yesterday. He looked extremely confused.

"But I…" he started to say.

"You what?" the teacher interrupted, "you want to make some sort of joke out of this class?" The teacher seemed extremely angry. "I am going to read the names of people that left the test papers blank."She sounded dead serious. "If your name is called, you have detention for the next two weeks," she continued. All ten socs' names were called. Socs in detention, I thought, that's awesome. Good job Johnnycake.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok chapter 6 is up, enjoy. Don't forgert to favorite/follow and, of course review =) Thank you to everyone who already did. I really appreciate it.**

At lunch I met up with Steve and Tow-Bit. We went to the diner, since greasers don't eat in the cafeteria.

"There is going to be another rumble," Steve said, unwrapping his burger.

"What? How come?" I asked, and Two-Bit looked at Steve question in his eyes.

"It's going to be this Saturday at the vacant lot."

"How come?" I repeated.

"Well, Curly Shepard got into a huge altercation with two supersocs a couple of days ago. He cut one up with the busted beer bottle he had. Socs want a rumble, and we are not the ones to say no to that. It's going to be the usual – us, Shepard's gang and Burmly's."

"Good," Two-Bit said, "I've missed a little action. It's still no weapons right?"

Steve nodded. So here good old Two-Bit was all happy about the rumble. I on the other hand didn't like what I was hearing. Wasn't last time enough? They were all bruised up and bleeding and getting stitches in every part of their bodies.

"Ponyboy, you don't look too happy. What's the matter? You don't like the news?" Two-Bit asked.

"No," I shook my head.

"How come?"

"Well, wasn't last time enough? I mean did you like having your hand opened, did you like getting a million stitches? And besides, that rumble didn't solve anything. They still didn't leave us alone. Maybe they are out of our territory, but there are plenty of other places like school, where they can get us."

"So," Two-Bit continued, "maybe they won't leave us alone, but they could use a good beating. That alone is a good enough reason to have this rumble."

Steve nodded agreeing with Two-Bit.

"Whatever," I signed not able to continue arguing with them. It was useless – they saw things differently and that was that.

"You don't have to be in it if you feel this way," Two-Bit said, disappointment in his voice. I smacked him across his head good.

"Have you known me to be a coward?" I asked. Two-Bit turned to face me. "It's not that, but if you feel so bad about it."

"I may feel bad about it, but if you all are going to fight count me in, ain't I a Curtis?"

"That you are," Two-Bit nodded in approval.

"C'mon Pony," Steve said, "we'll just beat the crap out of them like we did last time. Don't tell me you didn't like that."

"Ok," I sighed again.

Saturday at five Steve and Two-Bit came by so we could go to the rumble together. We weren't all cheerful and having fun like we did before the last rumble. We were taking it very seriously this time around.

"Ponyboy," Darry said, "be careful out there. Promise me that you'll be careful."

"Ok, ok," I hurried to reassure him.

We arrived at the lot. Shepard's and Burmly's were already there. After all the handshakes and hellos we were standing in silence , waiting for the socs to arrive. Curly was there too. He was standing next to his brother, proud that he cut one of the socs up, and that it was because of him that we were having this rumble.

Finally, we saw the socs' cars arriving one after the other like a colony of ants. They got out of their cars and ran towards us. This time it wasn't Darry, who started the rumble. It was Tim Shepard. I think he felt obligated to do so since it was his brother, who started the whole mess. Tim got a hold of the first soc that came close by him, and then it was on. This time socs outnumbered us by about seven. That meant that we had to fight more than one at a time.

I was looking for a medium built soc to attack. In the mean time two not so medium ones attacked me from the back. I turned around and started punching one of them in the stomach. At that time the other one fell to the ground rolling around on the ground waving his hands in the air struggling with some invisible force. The first soc, the one that I was punching in the stomach fell too, and was rolling around also waving his hands. Their eyes were round and they were shaking that's how scared they were. So Johnny rescued me again. Just like last time when three socs attacked me in the school yard.

I looked at Darry and others to see how they were doing, and if they needed any help. Darry was fighting four at a time, and Soda was fighting three. I ran to help Darry, but the socs he was fighting were too big for me. All of the sudden all four of the socs fell to the ground and started rolling around in the mud, waving their hands in the air, struggling. The same happened with the socs that Soda was fighting. "What a hell?" Darry mumbled, confused. One of the socs' face started to bleed. At this point all of the socs started to fall to the ground and roll around in mud, waving their hands in the air, cursing and begging for whoever was doing it to stop. One of Darry's socs was lifted in mid air and then dropped back on the ground. Darry's eyes went wide. "What a hell is going on?" He asked. After a while the socs were able to get up, and all of them looked shocked and scared. They all ran to their cars.

"I know what's going on." I said quietly, "it's Johnny."

"What are you talking about?" Soda asked.

"It's Johnny. He's helping us."

"Are you delirious kid?" Steve asked.

"No, no you saw it yourself. You saw those socs fall to the ground. All of them. And you saw that one soc lifted in mid-air and then dropped on to the ground."

"What are you saying?" Darry said.

"You see I saw this weird dream. I saw Johnny in it, and he said that he was going to help us out. You have to believe me. You just saw it yourself. And all those times when you thought I was cooking and cleaning. It was him, it was Johnny." Darry looked at me like he might actually believe me.

"So it was actually Johnny?" Soda asked, and gave out a whistle.

"Yeah, it was," I replied

"I wouldda never believed it if I haven't seen it myself. So how long it has been going on?"

"A couple of weeks. He helped me during track practice, and he helped me to hold off three socs the other day when they tried attacking me in the school yard."

"Well, thanks Johnny," Soda whispered. Shepard's and Burmly's were gone by now, and it was only us standing in the mud.

"Well, let's go home," Darry said.

Two-Bit had a busted lip had a black eye the size of the soc's fist. Soda got a few broken ribs. Steve's hand was broken, and he was bleeding all over. All of them had bruises everywhere where the socs punched them.

"That sure was fun," Two-Bit said, "we should do this more often. It sure feels nice to crack some of their ribs for all the times that they jumped us." Steve nodded in approval.

"Yes it sure is fun, except that I got my ribs cracked as well." Soda said.

"Oh, you'll live," Steve replied.

"I know, I know," Soda mumbled. Darry just shook his head at them. "Leave it to them," he said to me, and they'll have this every other day. I smiled.

"You got that right," Steve replied, smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello all. Here is chapter 7. Hardly made it this week, but still updating once a week. Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to leave a review =)**

A few days passed uneventfully, but then there was supposed to be a school dance in about one week. I never attended school dances or any school social events. They were full of socs. This time though I wished I could go. There was this girl Jamie that I liked for awhile now, forgetting about her only when I was grieving over Johnny's and Dally's deaths. But now since Johnny was back, and Johnny said that Dal was there too and was doing well, I was able to go back to having feelings for Jamie, but I didn't have the guts to ask her out.

Later that night I was sitting in my room, looking at the photo of the gang again. I wished I could talk to Johnny about my feeling for Jamie. "I wish I could have the guts to ask her," I said to the picture, "but even if I do she'll never go out with me. She is middle class," I said bitterness in my voice. I put the picture back on the desk and turned off the light.

The next day, I got out of the school building at three as usual. I noticed Jamie in the school yard. Her car wouldn't start, and there was no one else around. She got out of the car and popped the hood open. She didn't even know where to look. I was going to just pass by, but felt pushed forward slightly. Jamie noticed me.

"Hi," she said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but could you maybe help me out."

Of course, I knew nothing about cars. My heart jumped when she started talking to me. I knew my cheeks were turning red and that I would stumble talking to her. I had to at least pretend that I knew something about cars. I looked inside, played around with a few wires, and then said "I'm not sure what's wrong, but my brother is the best mechanic in town. We can give him a call and ask him to come by. He works at the DX"

We called Soda from the payphone and explained the situation. He said he couldn't leave, because his shift wasn't over yet, but he was sending Steve. We waited for Steve in awkward silence. Thankfully he arrived soon. He looked at the car, and looked confused.

"What's the matter?" I asked.

"Well, it's really odd," he replied, "two of the wires were just disconnected, as if someone did it on purpose. All I had to do is connect these two wires back."

Jamie didn't think much of what Steve said. But I knew there and then that it was Johnny. I wished I could talk to Jamie, I wished I had the guts to ask her out.

Jamie thanked me and Steve, and offered to give me a ride home. When we approached my house, she suddenly said, "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I replied.

"The school dance is in a week, would you go with me? This would be my thanks for helping me out with my car."

I was shocked. Out of all the things she might've said, this was what she was saying. Could it be? Could the feelings be mutual? Did she like me too?"

"Sure," I said, "I'll go with you." I felt hot and felt my palms get clammy in an instance. I couldn't say no. That would be so rude, so I said yes, but what am I going to do? The place is going to be full of socs, and besides, I didn't even know how to dance that well. I would need Soda to teach me.

The week passed by really fast, and it was the day of the dance. I put on the tuxedo, and I kind of felt that it was ridiculous. Us, greasers just don't dress up. But I had to put it on. I couldn't show up at the dance wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

I walked to pick Jamie up. I hated not being old enough to drive. I mean it was embarrassing. I had to walk to Jamie's house, and then we would be taking her car, and she'd be driving. Could it get any more embarrassing?

So, I walked over to her house, and rang the bell. Jamie opened the door. She looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a black dress. Not too short, but it showed off her figure. Her hair was down and she was wearing a nice necklace with a pendant shaped as a leaf. I was speechless, and was just staring at her. She frowned.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, sounding confused.

"No," I hurried to reassure her. "It's just you …, you look great."

"Oh, thank you," she smiled.

We got to the dance just in time. A little later than when it started, but not too late. There were couples already dancing, and we proceeded to the dance floor. It was a fast dance, and even thought I practiced with Soda, I felt out of place and was messing up my moves. All of the sudden, I felt being pushed into certain moves. Johnny was helping me dance.

"You are a really good dancer," Jamie complimented.

"Thanks," I mumbled, hardly standing on my two feet from being pushed so much.

We danced for about a whole hour, and then decided to take a break.

We took a table, and I got us some punch and some food from the buffet. We were sitting there talking and eating, when this suupersoc passed by our table. He was holding a cup of punch. He gave us a look of disdain, and I could tell he was going to say something nasty. Instead, all of the sudden he threw his punch on himself. Right on the groin. He looked shocked. I stifled a laugh, knowing it was Johnny's doing. Jamie and other people were laughing. All of the sudden, all other socs started throwing punch on themselves, right on the groin. Everybody who was watching was laughing hysterically. The socs got in a circle in the middle of the room, and were whispering to each other. Then glancing crazily at the crowd, they went straight to the exit. Jamie was laughing hard.

"So much for this being a soc dance," I said with a smile, and she nodded.

We talked a little more, and then went back to the dance floor. We danced for a while, and then it was time to go home. Jamie was driving. Again I felt so embarrassed that she was dropping me off instead of the other way around.

When we got to my house, I didn't want to get out of the car. I wanted to kiss Jamie so badly, but I was sure she wouldn't like it on the very first date. I was about to get out of the car, when I was pushed towards her, and found my lips landing on hers. Oh no, Johnny you went too far this time, I thought. Jamie was clearly caught off guard by this, but she adjusted quickly. She grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulling me closer to her, and started kissing me back.

When I got home, I sat on my bed, looking at the photo of the gang. "Thanks Johnny," I whispered, full of emotion, "for everything."


End file.
